We’re going to try and keep this weekly but the rumours aren’t in the finest fettle at the moment. It feels like the early days of spring, the dawn is breaking, there’s a dew on the ground, and a few bulbs and are open. We are awakening; we are nearly awake.
Warnock is living his best life. He’s at the cricket with a great bunch of lads. He’s watching the World Cup. The lads are with him. They would do anything for him. But he needs more lads. He needs more. The players. We need them. The rumour rater. He needs rumours to sustain. He needs to be fed. Give me the rumours. Give me them. Short. In depth. Medium rare. I want them. Here they are.
Bobby Reid
This is more than rumour. Concrete. Bristol Post say so. Bobby Reid. The Bristol City jewel in the crown. £10m. Medical happening today. Is he the mystery player? It would seem so. He is class. We like this. He is top class. One of the standout players last year. He is quality. He would be a real coup. And it would annoy Bristol City. So much. We like this. We like this a lot.
Abel Hernandez
One writer at View From the Ninian won’t let the fact that he was talking about this back in May go quiet. And if it comes off, I expect Scott Johnson will be the first to say I told you so. It’s a good connection. It works. Abel is on a free. He left Hull because Nigel Adkins was too nice, too affable. Too much like a PE teacher. Abel wants grit. He wants an arm round his shoulder and a fist to the jaw.
We also need a striker. We need someone different to Big Ken and Big Gary. I love Big Ken. I do. I get nervous when he runs at defenders and I’m in the stand. I’d hate to try and tackle him. Abel, though. He’s different. He loves goals, doesn’t he? And he’s South American. Love that exotic touch. Sign him up, Neil. Announce Abel.
Marko Grujic
My love affair for Marko burnt bright last season. The rangey, nay, leggy midfielder looked ungainly at first but a few games later? What a player. He made us tick when Ralls was out injured. He can pass. He can score. Loves a tackle. Definitely got a red card in his locker. Maybe even two. Despite being linked with Lazio (Lads-ee-oh) and AC Milan, we seem to be in pole position to sign him.
Give him a full pre-season with Neil. He’d be one of the greatest of the great lads.
Josh Windass
This rumour was loud. The Scottish Sun gave it to us. They said £1.5m starting bid. We thought that was low. But it’s a starting point. We would like this. Josh was a bright spark for Rangers last year. He’s dynamic, we think. Quick. Skilful lovely tats. We are hungry for this one.
Robert Huth
The rumour rater is STARVING. Robert Huth is a sizable treat. Straight off the specials menu, Robert Huth has been linked by some of the bookies. 14/1 they say. Not out of reach but would you put a tenner on it? Also, yes. It’s the summer. My mind is burnt by the sun. Somehow, he has a hat trick of Premier League winners medals, a handful of caps for Germany and a jawline to rival Desperate Dan. Would he be a good signing? Probably. He’s all headers ain’t he? Loves a header. Menace when attacking – even more dangerous when defending.
He’d bring some experience, for sure. He’d bring the fact that Stoke City’s Coaching Staff voted him player of the year in 2010. No one can take that away from you, sweet Robert.
Danny Simpson
Oh Danny, boy. Another of those unlikely Premier League winners from Leicester. A former United player; a player who had a distinctly average career until Ranieri got hold of him. Ranieri made him what he is now. The Rumour Rater saw this as a mouse-bouche; a nugget of a transfer rumour to chew on before the main course. Does it have legs? Who can judge at this point. £3.3m is the magic number. Danny. Not bad. Not great. Another body in the squad? Feed me.
Hal Robson, Hal-Robson Kanu.
It’s 1am. The Rumour Rater has been to Kiwi’s. The Rumour Rater is hungry. We’ve had to plumb the depths of Twitter for this one. A couple of tweets, a couple of conversations. Has Hal been spotted at the CCS? No-one knows. Except Hal. And we can’t ask him. Would we like this one? We would. He’s good at Cruyff turns, is Hal. He’s not had a great few years at West Brom but he would be a good choice for us. He also comes with a ready made chant. We like this.
